UNCLE MARC'S SING-ALONG FUN HOUR (5 Minutes on the money) Curtains open, theme song is playing in the background, 10 children surround uncle Marc. The children are smiling and swaying their hands back and forth in unison with the tempo of the song. Uncle Marc, wearing a trashy coat. Marc looks like he wants to kill himself. All kids speak in unison. There is a ball on the screen (stage right, for instance) showing a picture of uncle Marc giving a thumbs up and smiling. Announcer: (in a calm, very happy voice) Hello Children, are you wearing your super happy fun faces today? Kids: Yeaaaaah! Announcer: Then lets all have a super happy fun time with your bestest uncle Marc! Kids: YAAAAAAAY!!! Uncle MARC!! Spotlight on Marc, first verse in song has just ended. Marc unenthusiastically talks over the bridge. Marc: (uggghhh) Hey kids. If you're not feelin' it, I ain't gettin paid. So lets pound this one out. Kids: YAAAAAAAY!!!! Picture of Marc taken off the screen. Ball bounces over scrolling lyrics on screen. Song: Share your toys Don't eat glue Those are things that you should do Though a great big huff and a pass from me to you Those are things you should not do Marc: (mutters) God... Marc takes a shot from his flask hidden in his coat. While Marc is taking a swig the kids scream. Kids: YAAAAAAAY!!! During the next bridge the ball starts bouncing over inappropriate words. The children scream these words in unison. Musically, the bridge continues replaying. Kids: Plagiarism! Stealing! Murder! Overdose! Marc: woah. wooooah. Kids: GLUE! Marc: (crack voice if possible) WILL -- WILL SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF THAT FUCKIN' BALL!? WILL SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF THAT!? Stagehand darts across stage, pissed off and stressed out. Kids scream as stagehand makes his way to the screen. Kids: Abuse! Genocide! When the stagehand reaches stage right, he appears on the screen with the ball and starts wrestling it. When the stagehand wrestles the ball to the ground, he starts pounding it. The ball eventually explodes, covering the stagehand in goop. Stagehand: (when the ball explodes) MAN! WHAT THE -- WHAT THE FUCK MAN! YOU KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. ALL OVER MY SHIRT. WHAT THE FUCK. Lights CUT. Curtains close. Screen shows 4 color bars and plays emergency tone. A new voice is on the monitors after 10 seconds (so people backstage can set up for Brother Travis). While the voice speaks, the beep continues. Voice: (Calm) This is not a test. This is really an emergency. You are really going insane. The beeps stops. The Brother Travis, Prophet to the Creator version of the Barney theme plays over darkness for 50 Seconds. The curtain then opens, lights blast Brother Travis, dressed in white wearing tin foil on his head. The kids surrounding him all wear white shirts and tin foil on their heads as well. The kids wave their hands slowly and randomly. The kids speak in unison. QUE: Song goes "I love you too..." Kids: (slowly) We are in awe of your wisdom, Brother Travis, Prophet to the Creator. Ten seconds pass QUE: Travis comes in after the exhale. Travis: The time of enlightenment is upon us, my precious children. QUE: Song -- "You love me?" Kids: (softly) yay. brother travis! QUE: "I love you..." The kids pass around a punch bowl and fill a cup of their own. (20 seconds) QUE: At end of "We're best friends as friends could BE" Travis says: Travis: Now, my children. All of the kids drink their cups in unison. Right as as they finish drinking, the lights CUT. The song continues playing. 10 Seconds pass in complete darkness. QUE: Heavy exhale. The lights turn back on. All but three kids are dead, lying motionless on the ground. Two of the surviving kids act as they did before the punch. One (Bobby) is terrified, and shaking. Travis: You are the chosen ones. 2 Kids: (Softly) yay. Frightened Kid: (Terrified as he looks at his dead friends) y. y. yay... Song ends.